Sunday, January 11, 2009

The Third One- Of the Winds of Change

Transitions are never easy. They might leave you insanely happy, or might leave you frightened and broken. Or they just leave you feeling strange.

There's so much change in the world today. People are changing, lives are changing, social structure, mentalities, in fact everything is so different today than it was, say, ten years ago. Quoting friend and very talented writer Ritika, " It seems strange, but the word that is here to stay is Change." Obama was just the tip of the iceberg.

Why am I writing about change? I don't know myself, but somehow Facebook pictures are to blame. It's been four years since I walked out of Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan's Public School, leaving a lot of good people and good memories. I don't forget people easily, and now when I look at facebook profile pictures, I sometimes am left shocked. A plump, very tomboyish girl (and by very tomboyish, I mean very- she used to think boys were better than girls) has become a slim and sexy siren. A very naughty kid in his younger years who used to play ball with my father before class (and once broke a window, I think :P) is now a cute young man doing his CA. Two troublemakers who used to get on the nerves of teachers at school and mine too at times :), got into Law School and Engineering (with pretty good ranks) and are doing very well.

A guy who used to call me ahem...names on the bus back home, is now a mature and intelligent guy, and an avid blogger with 24x7 opinions about the world. Another junior of mine, who is one of my closest friends, was a reed thin guy, half-my height, who would always hang out with girls (we called him a gynomaniac :), is now very tall, and still reed thin (and still poses like a girl).

In short, do people change that much? Does everyone turn into a new leaf in a few years? The change leaves me bewildered at times. In retrospect however, they might not have changed at all. They might have just shown their true colours (and I mean this in a good way) later. I guess we never know who we really are, when we're in school. As kids, we don't have opinions, or rather, we never think about having opinions. Everything is decided for us. It's only when we are teenagers, that we change. It's only when we grow up, and are free (or at least, partially free) to make our own decisions or to explore the world on our own that we change.

This led me to ask one more question- Have I changed? I didn't think I did. Or at least when I began the whole self-evaluation thingy.

Have I changed? Oh god, so much. When I was in 3rd class, I used to feel scared that 1st and 2nd classes had already gone by, so fast. When I was in 10th, I was scared that my whole school life had passed me by in a flash, in a whisper and I didn't realize it. Now I'm nineteen, in 2nd year, wondering where the previous semester of college has gone. Okay, coming back to the point... I've changed.

I used to hate the idea of disco. I never wanted to be a teenager. I thought having boyfriends was disgusting. My aim in life was to work at the NASA. I used to think rock music was just plates being thrown together. I was the perfect teacher's pet. And oh, I was domineering and short-tempered.

Now, I want to go to the Disco (stupid timings at BPGC). I want to fall in love (read my earlier post talking about stupid lou). My aim right now is to finish college with a good CGPA, NASA baad mein. I love rock and metal, Guns' n' Roses, Queen and Floyd literally saved my life. I don't know any teachers here, but I wouldn't mind being a certain one's pet. And now, people say I'm too compromising, a doormat, and sickly sweet.

I don't understand how we change, so suddenly. How one day, we wake up and decide, I'm not going to look like that anymore. I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm going to be different. I'm going to be much better than before. Maybe I'll never understand it. Maybe people will also never understand how and why they have changed. Because it's a long, slow process. Becaus eit comes upon us when we least expect it. Change and Transition, we're your pawns, dancing to your silly tunes, are we not?

Now I have to go and change.Literally. :P Dinner awaits, and today, i'm eating out-for a change.


divesh said...

beautifully written...

shalinilahiri said...

Thank you...hope you had fun at the party. ;D

divesh said...

party was amazing, we had great fun.

Sushobhan Sen said...

That was a fantastic post! Oh, I must apologise for the names, you'll excuse the immaturity, I hope. Thanks for mentioning me.
How much has changed, indeed. Just look at India. From a little country with illegal nukes, we are just about a full-fledged nuclear weapons state. Per capita income has risen, democracy is alive and kicking. Ah, the wonder!
Hehe... mind using some names for those whom you mentioned? :-)